Something screamed past me today.
It’s deafening cry drowning out the petty goings on
Of some middle-of-the day-street.
My head was down,
And didn’t see it rushing past,
But it’s thundering bellow pried my ears wide open.
As the howl rolled into the distance,
Where it would surely become the ire of some poor’s soul,
I thought of what I ate for breakfast.
And found that a little odd…
I remember specifically being ten.
My step cousin Chris had made me cry and I pouted as I spat upon my candles to put them out. All I ever wanted was to impress him and all he ever wanted to do was make fun of me.
“Happy Birthday Dear Pee…”
It didn’t quite strike me as a joke and my eyes welled up with tears. I don’t remember my misery lasting very long, my memory shoots to shoving tokens into arcade games
driving in a fake car
in a fake race
on a fake track
in a fake place
all inside my little buzzing box.
There were, of course, ball pits and miles of open space for me to romp around with my 10+ guests (of which I remember very few) and yet I wanted nothing to do with it.
I was fine with my little fantasy life for the moment.
I never much formed cliques, anyways. I never found it very fulfilling to follow around a designated group of people for very long… or even a single person for that matter. I guess with the exception of Caitlin I’ve always been content doing my own thing…which sometimes happened to be the alone thing.
I look at the people that I remember being at my party… Anna, Jackie, Jon and Jose. Jolene had shown up at some point and I never quite knew why. I saw her passing on the other side of the glass room I was in and wondered why her focus wasn’t on me. It was MY birthday. She was beautiful and she once loved me. Now I was 10 and a big girl… ever-closer to her own age. I didn’t want to get older, I wanted Jolene to baby me forever.
What narcissism for a ten-year-old to have.
13.
The number of times I think of toast throughout the day has always come to 13.
Be it some kind of astrological phenomenon or a sign from the gods to go out gambling and place all my money on 13 at any table may be a stretch to imagine, but its certainly the number of drinks I’ll continue to consume every night I go out to a party or some sort of hoodlum festivity. This may also be the reason that toast seems to pop up in my mind 13 times consistently through out the day, for it always seems to be toast as the feast after my 13 drinks. That number, along with that food item has somehow crossed paths in my brain and sent me a mixed message so that when I’m sober Its not 13 drinks I think I should be having, but 13 slices of toast. There are also certain specific things that happen throughout the day that set off my craving for toasty bread.
1) Looking at the toaster in the morning.
Although this seems like the obvious reason, it is. I don’t know why it wouldn’t be.
2) Looking at bread in the toaster, in the morning.
I don’t see how this wouldn’t remind any normal person of toast either, its the step necessary to take before ending in toast.
3) Toast.
Surprisingly, toast reminds me of toast and causes me to forget about toast at the same time, therefore creating somewhat of a dilemma, causing me to walk away from the toast and put on a new pair of pants. This is in hopes that the toast will be gone by the time I return. Only once has this happened and to this day I can’t figure out who took the toast. I think it may have been that if you leave toast alone for too long it turns back into bread. I didn’t find the bread either, so this theory still has not been proven.
4) Seeing things put in a toaster.
Toasting things besides toast can also remind me of toast. Incredibly, very few things besides bread substances are toasted. Unless you can fit them into your home toaster or toaster oven. I suggest forks.
5) Looking up at clouds.
Clouds are like fluff, which tastes great on toast.
6) Giant billboards with straws pictured on them.
No, you don’t get an explanation, this one is self explanatory.
7) Bread.
Assuming its not already toast, bread can remind me of toast, since it is the first step to making toast. However, bread can also remind me of toast at all the stages in between it becoming toast.
The number eight followed by ) always produces a cool face when emoticons are on.
Jam.
9) Jam on toast reminds me of the toast under the jam.
It does, especially when I can see it.
10) The moon.
Its made of cheese. Cheese is delicious.
11) Cheese.
I’m pretty sure this has nothing to do with toast. I always get a craving for it when its mentioned though.
12) The number twelve.
Twelve is the number before 13, and the number 13 reminds me of toast. Therefore, If I think of 12 I think of 13, and if I think of 13 I think of toast so in conclusion, If A equals B and B equals C, then A must Equal C.
13) 13.
As stated by everything else above this sentence.
